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Will Wil Cwac Cwac Quack?

Thursday, April 22, 2004


Is it OK to like Star Wars just because Freddie Mercury said 'I don't like Star Wars' in Bicycle Race and you want to annoy Freddie Mercury even though you have never met him and you never will meet him because he is dead?

Oh, and for Carrie Fisher's breasts?

Monday, March 29, 2004

4:14PM - Late Night Television

Got in, wobbled around a bit cos I was a little bit drunk off watching the football. Then went to bed at 9 to watch Judge Dredd (which was a terrible film, complete bumshite), ended up watcing Man on the Moon (much better, Jim Carrey has a funny face), then that finit so watched the last bit of Dracula 2000 (Oh, I see, Dracula is Judas Iscariot?!? Makes so much sense) and then watched The House That Dripped Blood. Portmanteau, innit?

That was alright. I still think Peter Cushing is hilarious for all the wrong reasons. And Jon Pertwee's bit where he had to play an actor in a horror film was worth noting for Pertwee's complete inability to ACT a thing that he was actually DOING. The mind boggles. His funny pointy teeth were good though.

Cheers for my night out in Heaton.
Jeers to the posh ass student fucks who tried to throw me out of their party. Honestly, I had done nothing wrong! And I was vindicated in the end, hroo-hah!

Bellends to the lot of you, I'm off to get some sleep.


Thursday, March 25, 2004

6:11PM - Handful of Songs

Good afternoon everybody.

How is it hanging there, eh?

Anyone know to stop feeling sleepy (and don't say get more sleep, I am not a stupid weak baby)?

Got to go now, my mum's feeding me tonight.


ps. And she is not feeding me like I am a baby! Can't you read? I said I am not a stupid weak baby! There is no way I am going to suckle from my mother's dugs tonight. And do you want to know why? It is because I am not a baby! I would never even REALLY want to do that suckling thing off my mum anyway. So there.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

6:13PM - It's not right for young lungs to be coughing up blood

First things first, the Batman thing was the funniest thing I ever did, and I was gonna keep it til you's got back but I had the picture and I couldn't resist. Batman...ha...(wipes away a tear)

Secondly, Switch should be ok for PayPal on here, all stuff from play.com and football365 accepts switch.

Football on tonight. Was going to watch Zatoichi at Tyneside but my date (well, Simon) has scummed me out and is going with another on Friday. The swine!

Watching: Nighty Night
Reading: James Ellroy
Listening: Love Life by Pulp

Now, to bed.
Good night everybody!

6:06PM - Let's all go to the lobby

I've sent off my application for a job as, get this, Comic Specialist (!!!) at Travelling Man, a shop about to open in Newcastle. If I get this job I will unfortunately be unable to take up the position as i will have bust WIDE open with happy happy joy joy. Jane W, if possible, check the shop in Leeds, the one here hasn't opened yet and I'd like to know what it's like. I will give you bounty to make it worth your while (clue: cluck cluck cluck!).

As I'm feeling like King of the Goddamn Cowboys now, I will big up the remake of Dawn of the Dead. It was jolly good, although I'm agreeing with Simon Pegg about making the zombies non-shambling. It's just not right!

Just realised I haven't read comments on my last post before starting this one, so I'd better do that before carrying on.
What a carry on!

Thursday, March 18, 2004

6:20PM - That's livin' alright!

Off work with plague for two days now. My, this is a serious illness, hem hem...

Gonna write my comic shop application tonight, Mr John at Off World Comics has kindly agreed to by a reference (even though, as he pointed out and which I had failed to notice, another comic shop opening in Newcastle is unlikely to boost his takings in the foreseeable future. unless I get a job there and run the place into the ground, like some sort of rotten shit. This too is unlikely. I am rather incompetent though, so I guess something could happen by mistake.)

If you are reading this future employer
(which would be REALLY odd cos then it would mean one of the three people who read this is the new owner of a comic shop in Newcastle. And as they are all a.
Young and without the capital to fund such a venture and b.
I think that this too, again, perhaps, is unlikely)
I am joking! And I patently use parentheses far too much. Almost as much as Batman (AKA Jane) uses exclamation marks.

Jesus, I'm boring ME.
Be seeing you

Monday, March 15, 2004

4:12PM - Happy March Everybody!

Stuffed with cold, hello to everybody. Don't come too close or you'll catch it.

Applied for a job at a comic shop today (well, applied for an application form. That's a start.) and I have it on good authority that jobs at Waterstones will be coming up in the next few weeks. Might be able to escape the Civil Service after all! Although I'd feel bad jacking it in in the middle of a project thing, it's rather now than later. When I'm 46 or summat.

Reading: Cult TV and Jimmy Corrigan again.
Listening: The Libertines STILL. They're on Jonathon Ross this week.
Watching: You. All of you.

TBC on www.skippa.blogspot.com.
I say TBC, I mean to be copied. Until I get more friends.

Thursday, March 4, 2004

5:17PM - The Kraken Awakes

Tentatively dipping a toe into the waters.
Haven't done this for a while.

I'm sure I've got overdue library books or something.

Reading From Hell for the fifth time or something. Maybe I'll understand it this time.

Do people still use the internet?


Thursday, August 14, 2003

5:00PM - Lurid Romp Captures Attention of Public!

I've got such a rotten cough, it's only alleviated by ciggys. Is that negative feedback or summat? And that room was damn hot on monday/tuesday, i thought my eyes had melted plain away.

Looking at those pictures on Mr Fudge's website
has made me realise that maybe I DO have to get my haircut and mebbe drop a few pounds. I didn't realise the sheer build up of curls on the back of the neck. Like bloody Bobby Ball. Note to self: Eat only Ryvita from here on in. Or sleep in hot rooms to achieve sauna effect.

Yrs, thinking of pies and pies that can never be again,
Jack Skippa

Tuesday, August 5, 2003

4:55PM - I Had A Dream Last Night I Wanna Lick Your Knees

Nother dream I'm afraid. A girl annoyed me on the beach so I bit off her little finger. This has already been misheard twice today as me biting off a little girls' finger. That was NOT the dream, blackheart! I then proceeded to give it back to her in a load of ice so she could get it sewn back on at the hospital.
Dream me has an awful temper.

In addition to that, regarding the post title, has anyone got the Manics B-Sides album 'Lipstick Traces'? If so, am I right in thinking they've re-recorded Take The Skinheads Bowling by Camper Van Beethoven, cos I'm sure it sounds different to the one on the B-Side to Australia, all those years ago...

Ah, I could probably find out if I wanted to, I'm just tooooooo lazy.
Soph, Jane, hey even Laura can join in. Spread this, you must know somebody who knows.

It's dreadfully hot today. Wearing my England shirt, alwys forgetting that replica football tops are one of the least cooling items of clothing around. Do football stars have the wealth to buy inbuilt cooling systems for theirs?
(well, obviously they HAVE the wealth, but do they have the nous?)

Questions questions but have you got an answer? Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Monday, August 4, 2003

3:55PM - Lester Bangs Birthday Party Cheesecake

Hello. People were right! You can change things! Hurrah.
So weary yesterday. Thumbs up for The Futureheads, Manics B-Side album (No RP McMurphy No Comment) and New Coral LP. Thumbs down for the continued absence of Daphne & Celeste and people who laugh at BBC2's HA HA HILARIOUS Dead Ringers.

The email was just a pleasantry by the way! No angriness. But brief.
You Only Live Twice tonight, watchable just for Mr Bond's ludicrous scheme at the start.


Tuesday, July 22, 2003

5:40PM - Like Ma Bell, Got the Ill Communication

I am a washing machine!

what kitchen utensil are YOU?

Irony, thy name is stupid test thing.

5:31PM - The Iceman Cometh

Does anyone know what that play is actually about? It's a real neat title.
I'm so friggin bored and boring and bored that I have literally nothing to write on this. It is a shit. How come everybody else is doing nice things? Give me some money!
Guess I'll see you's soon, I will reply to individual matters in the normal fashion. You know, if anyone real is reading this I'm going to be dreadfully upset.
ps: one thing, I did have a dream in which my brother produced an almighty bum-egg so great it was christened The Dreadnought. And I woke up and I had eaten my pillow!

Monday, June 9, 2003

4:53PM - and the Pain was Enough to Make a Shy Bald Buddhist Repent and Plan a Mass Murder

Holy Mary Mother Of Chris, I'm sick and tired.
Job suggestions please. I need a new one.
(ps. Soph, is Jane still alive?
pps. Jane, are you still alive?)

Thursday, May 29, 2003

4:41PM - Drinkin Beer in the Hot Sun, I Fought the Law and I Won

Hey, I nearly got arrested for newspaper theft on Sunday morning!
I'd been out to a club and the taxi dropped us at Andy's where a few more drinks were had. Then I made my way to the metro at 4.15am to wait for the first one (foolish, yes...). Had nothing to read so I nabbed a Sunday Times (see, I must've been desperate) from a bundle outside a paper shop only for a police car to stop me about 30 seconds later. They made me put it back and ran a police check over the radio on me! It was SO FUNNY! Newspaper Squad were asking "Have you been in trouble with the police before?" and I was all like "No, can't say I have" and then they were all "Have you got anything in your pockets that you shouldn't have?" and again I'm all like "No, I haven't!". It was really great, cos by the end I was just sitting on the pavement next to the open window whilst the polis palpably grasped for new things to ask when it was clear I didn't have previous for GBH or anything. And then slapped on the wrist and told to "tell all your friends to give us a smile for the camera when they're coming up here", as if I was the ringleader of an international criminal milk and paper theft ring.

So anyway, watch out for the CCTV camera by monkseaton metro facing down Front Street. Next time, it could be YOU! And don't steal, it's bad.
Apart from shoplifting, which i'm pretty sure was still victimless last time i checked :->

Monday, May 19, 2003

4:29PM - Leslie Grantham's Brass Hand

hey hey hey hey.
From my blog, but I'll (maybe!) get a response here:

Are the Indiana Jones movies machismo filled rape fantasies for George Lucas and Steven Spielberg? Discuss.

By the way Sofa, did I not just say you all looked like meringues when you came round after yr prom? I recall little. Discuss. Hope scan goes (went?) well.

End of. Discuss.


Friday, May 16, 2003

12:44PM - Roman In The Gloaming

Hello. It's Friday. And as you can tell, i've got that Friday feeling. Actually, do you still have to capitalise weekdays as proper nouns or can you get away with all lower case now? Declining standards, I say.

Sorry to Sofa for yelling at her via the gift of text messages last night. All I can say is I'm pretty sure she started it, and sometimes I just get so...

You know, when you're bloods boiling, and you can't think straight, and everything's spinning because you're just so, so...

I think I was being complimentary at some point. But that's just the nail polish remover talking.
Night night
ps: If anyone reads Fudge's weblog, please ignore it. He is a bum!

Thursday, May 8, 2003

5:07PM - Lubrication

How come your own journal entries are all "ooh, aah! What am I doing?! Hee hee!" when in your replies to mine you both become dry as a very aged sherry as drank by Oscar Wilde?

I know I've kinda made this joke already, but I will break J legs so the show goes well.
And S enjoy Oxford, for whatever reason it is there for (Newcastle whipped it's posho ass for city of culture though, ahhh!)

Yrs, Skippa
("All I ever think about is drowning, drowning")

Tuesday, May 6, 2003


Stupid network will not allow me to put a new post on my blog, which is really beginning to chiz me off.
So hello to you two instead. Captive audience...
Finally completed my dentistry stuff, no more until me six month check up now, haha.
Had a darza weekend, about 7 of Fraser's mates from Manchester came up to the bay on a little pilgramage, so I met up with them as we strolled around town and were poignant.
Also got to meet up with Lisa agin, which is hella excellent.
Apart from that, went out on all dayer with Andy on Saturday in which he ended up pushing me over a wall singing "It's such a pretty day..."

How have you been? Any news of interest? Apart from Sofa having an unhealthy, and in my eyes positively close to stealing his possessions, obsession with Jack Man?

Think I may try a little Magick, been reading tons of Grant Morrison and his Chaos stuff seems pretty neat. Apart from when he had a fight with a scorpion voodoun Loa and nearly dided of a necrotising fascitis style super bug.
Thems the breaks!
Laters, you Bentines amongst Milligans.

Friday, May 2, 2003

4:08PM - Just can't be happy without you...

3 points for naming the manics song that today's title turned into.

Bad mood today, too tired. After all my going on to people to spoil their vote, I didn't even get to the polling station.

However, there is a schoolboy across the room looking at dirty pictures in a book and he thinks nobody can see him. Does that make him or me worse?

Scum, Scum, You're all scum! Somebody make me a sandwich,
skippa overnout.

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